Mike Mac's Advice Shack

Hi Tumblrbot,

Thank for the question.

Robots.

Love,

MM

Hi Probably Cheating on Someone,

Thanks for the question. This one is tough. I mean I’ve been on some dating site-aided meet and greets myself and this is always a pre-introduction concern.

There’s two ways to handle this. First, you could tell her that she’ll know its you because you’ll be wearing red. Then wear something that’s ambiguously red, like maroon or auburn. That way, if you see her and she’s not as attractive as her glamour shots, you can bust a move and she, looking for someone in a fire engine red jacket, will be none the wiser that you were there.

If, on the other hand, she is the smoke show that she advertises, you can follow through and she’ll be like, “that jacket’s not red silly, it’s vermillion. Oh, men!” Then you guys will have a good laugh about it while sharing a cigarette after taking her to pound town.

Or, you’re second option, and I don’t know if this is doable but here goes, enjoy your time with this woman who’s personality you’ve apparently enjoyed online and will therefore, likely also enjoy IRL. Then after spending a nice evening together make the decisions as to whether you guys are compatible based on the totality of the circumstances, as opposed to deciding whether or not to blow her off based on whether she outrageously(!) chose to handpick flattering photos of herself to post in her profile.

Either way, good luck in your search for love, bro. Hope the wife doesn’t find out.

You’re welcome in advance,

MM

[eds. note: This answer is in no way suggesting that all online daters are cheating spouses, but this person just felt like one, amirite?]

Hi Hungry in Hartford,

Thank for the question. I’m going to assume you mean the capital of Connecticut. Mostly because its the only Hartford I know and I have actually been a couple times. In which case, the best place to eat in Hartford is on the dining cart of the train out of Hartford. Enjoy!

Love,

MM